Have you ever been hurt so badly that you thought you’d never come out on the other side? I know that feel like all too well. I thought the only way to rid myself of this pain was attempting suicide. (not something I recommend doing by the way… I do recommend professional help)
Perhaps you’re still holding onto that grief. If you are, then it’s time to learn how to let go of past pain. You deserve the inner peace of letting it go and allowing your life to move forward.
Holding onto past pain and anguish is a kind of self-inflicted torture and will lead to serious health risks like depression. The truth is, clinging to the past, keeps you experiencing the same stuff in your present as well as creating emotional scars.
How can just let go of something you’ve kept inside for so long? It’s not an easy task, but it can be done with some effort, determination and self-reflection. I found that focusing on creating a new legacy for my daughter kept me motivated.
Here are some ways you can let go of past pain and disappointment:
Know what’s holding you back. What are you holding onto and why? Identify the things you’re keeping inside that you shouldn’t be.
- For example, maybe your best friend betrayed you in a way that broke your trust. Recognize this and figure out a way to finally deal with it. Get in touch with them again, then explain the pain they’ve caused.
- They may not even be aware they did anything to upset you. Whether or not they apologize isn’t important. While it may be nice, you can’t control others or force them to say sorry. However, by simply voicing your feelings, you are finding closure from the hurtful situation.
- Getting closure on something that was left open-ended can make a huge difference in letting things go.
Talk it out. If the person who caused the hurt is still in your life, talk to them about the way they made you feel. If that person isn’t available, try to talk to a close friend or professional therapist about the situation.
- Getting your emotions out in the open can help you get over any resentment or anger you may be feeling. Bottling up your emotions is never a good thing. Let it all out in a constructive way and you’ll be amazed at how much better you’ll feel.
- I wrote a letter to my parent firing them. It was a long letter where I shared all my feelings. Tears poured down my cheeks. Writing did a lot in releasing the pent up feelings and emotions. My intention was to mail it. Upon completion of the letter the need to mail it left me. That was the shift that began my inner healing.
- Journaling about your feeling and experiences is another to "talk it out."
Forgive and forget. It may sound easier said than done, but forgiving someone who has hurt you can be extremely therapeutic. Strive to let things stay in the past and don’t allow them to affect your present.
- Once you learn to forgive the people who’ve caused your pain, you will find it far easier to heal and move on with your life.
- Forgiveness doesn’t mean relinquishing the other person’s responsibility for their actions. They are still responsible for what they did. It doesn’t let them off the hook for what they did. Once I really understood that, I was able to let go of how someone’s actions affected my.
Make the first move. You’re in charge of your pain. You’re the one who carries it around with you and you’re the only one who can change its intensity. It’s up to you to take control of the pain and take the first step towards making yourself feel better.
- Acknowledge that your pain is real and that a positive solution exists.
- Confront the cause of the pain and do everything in your power to get rid of it.
The best way to move forward is to forgive the past. Since you can’t change the past, you might as well learn to accept it and move on. You’ll be glad you did once you see just how bright your future can be when you regain control of your life.
Make the conscious decision, today, to live your life free from pain and resentment.